France Discovers Fanfiction!
by Pansychic27213
Summary: [Not completely a crack fic] England goes to check on France after he mysteriously disappears for a month...


**A/N: My friend read this and was like "This could be the introduction to a smut fic..." I just laughed in her face. Ha. You make me laugh. Ha. Like I could write that without dying... Warning for FrUK and human names**

**France Discovers Fanfiction**

France had disappeared again.

It was a common occurrence for the perverted, rose-loving nation to disappear every now again. Poof, just... Gone in the middle of the night, only to return a few days later.

What made this time strange was the fact that France hadn't been gone for a few days. He had been gone for a month.

And England had finally been sent to check on him, or at least look for the man's will.

Why they had sent the island nation, we may never know.

-[]-

Arthur knocked on the door, thoroughly annoyed. It was just like the frog to do something stupid and get him involved. Of course, HE had to be the one to take time out of HIS very busy schedule to check on his ENEMY.

Rolling his eyes at the lack of response, the Briton leaned down and looked behind the pillar that held an ornate rose bush. Sure enough, a very unassuming rock sat there. England rolled his eyes again. The frog really needed to learn how to hide his key better.

After grabbing the key from the underside of the rock, the blonde man opened the door and stepped in. "Francis?" He called. "Francis, it's Arthur!"

"_Oui_! I am in zhee office!"

Arthur growled lowly. Of course the blundering idiots wouldn't bother to check the darn frog's darn house. Sodding stupid, idiotic-

The green eyed man froze when he reached the office.

"Francis?" He called weakly. "What happened here? Are you alright?" He suddenly scowled. "Not that I actually care. A gentlemen should always be considerate, even if they hate a person. Because I don't. I don't care."

"_Oui, oui_, _Angleterre_, I understand," the Frenchman muttered as he finally looked up from his computer. What he didn't understand was what the Englishman was referring to. His office looked perfectly- oh.

Wrappers and bottled scattered about; papers across the floor; overturned flower pots; ripped furniture and soiled carpets- his office was a disaster.

"Oh. When did zhat 'appen?" He wondered as he scratched the back of his head.

"What do you mean WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! HAVEN'T YOU BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!" Arthur exploded, fed up. Francis waved his hand nonchalantly.

"I 'ave. I was busy."

"BUSY?!"

"_Oui_."

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!" The island nation shouted as he stormed closer to the other blonde.

"_Angelettere_, I 'ave found something beautiful. Maybe more beautiful than our precious roses," he offered as green eyed roamed over the screen.

"This looks like an American website. What the b***** h*** are you reading?" The shorter blonde stared at his French counterpart.

"There is this thing I have discovered, called fanfiction. It is simply amazing!" France exclaimed excitedly.

"Fanfiction? I believe I've heard of that," England pondered.

"_Oui_! It is simply wonderful! Did you know Japan made our lives into an anime?"

"HE DID WHAT?!"

France clicked on a different tab, bringing up yet another website.

"YouTube?" England scanned over the titles of the recently watched videos. "Hetalia?"

"It means 'stupid Italy.' Or something along those lines," the Frenchman explained.

"Sounds about right."

"I've watched the entire show by now, but what I really like is the American fans. Who knew Americans had such dirty little minds and ideas?" France continued.

"Dirty minds? America? Please, he's as innocent as he is young," the British man scoffed.

"Zhat's not what I've seen. I also did a little digging. Did you know that most American teenagers 'loose their flower' before they're married? Most have lost it even before out of high school, some even sooner than that," Francis explained.

"Really, now? And your teenagers haven't? I'll even admit it. What teenagers honestly haven't?" The green eyed man rolled his eyes.

"Zhat is true."

There was a small silence.

"I'm just impressed by how vivid some of these descriptions are."

"Descriptions?!"

The duo stared at the screen closely, reading the scene that France had just been going over. Suddenly, the Briton blushed to the roots of his hair.

"I'm not sure Germany would let that happen," he whispered breathlessly. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Why in the b***** world in Italy taking control of this situation? He can't even dominate his cat." France nodded.

"I know. Some of these are very strange. There is this thing called 'shipping'..."

"Let me guess, it's short for relationship?" The shorter man sighed.

"_Oui_. There are some very odd 'ships' out zhere." France opened up the third tab. "According to several websites and videos, any one of us can be paired with any other for any reason, especially political circumstances influencing us, relations between our countries, quotes from past leaders, our history together... The list goes on."

"Who am I shipped with?"

"Mostly America from what I've seen."

England just blushed again.

"Sometimes you're with me, sometimes with Japan. You have also been paired with Lichtenstein, Russia, China, Spain-"

"They make me out to be some kind of WHORE!" The Briton shouted.

"Usually, you're only with one of them at a time, but the ship just changes. America is not any better." The red-faced man took a deep breath.

"Really? Who is he 'shipped' with? And... Wait, you know a bit much about this. Is THIS what you've been doing for the past MONTH?!"

"_Oui_."

"YOU FROG!"

"America is paired with just about anyone as well. You, Canada, Russia, Vietnam, Romano, Germany, Japan, me-"

"I get it. They don't pair us with just one person. I understand, please don't continue."

There was another lull in the conversation.

"So," Arthur sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling the oncoming headache. "This is what you're been doing. I assume that you've read all of the romance ones."

"_Non_. Actually, I prefer angst." It was the Frenchman's turn to blush.

Arthur paused in alleviating his headache. "Really now?" He thought for a moment, curious. "Why is that?"

"It really gives me a deeper look into the possibilities of our characters. People just portray me as a pervert. I'll 'bed' anything with two legs, and I meddle in everyone else's lives, more of a hindrance than a help. But other nations, they are all so beautiful in the humans' eyes. Zhey're strong, and zhey 'ave real problems, and zhey aren't just annoying or ridiculous. Zhey 'ave a CHARACTER. And it's always gorgeous."

England saw tears in his enemy's eyes.

"It must be really good then," he smiled softly. He turned back to the screen. "Who do you love to read about most? Who's angst is the best?"

France gave a small, watery chuckle. "Yours."

THE END

**A/N: And that was me trying to give the fandom a glimpse into a small possibility of France's character. I don't see him as just a pervert. He had to raise Canada by himself for a while, and he always tries to claim the title of the "World's Big Brother France~" And, people seem to forget that France was the only person who was remotely nice to England when he was first growing up.**


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